I hear so often students telling me how frustrating it is to try having conversations in French because they feel they speak like a 6 year old. There is a lot of shame attached to it.
We don't need that, so let's unpack!
What is difficult
As a human, we want to be liked, appreciated. Dare I say, we need to connect with others? Well, language is our main way to do all that!
As an adult, we want to present ourselves to the world as the smart, educated, funny beings we have grown to become: full of nuances, charisma and empathy. hopefully?
But how to carry that in a French conversation if, every time you open your mouth in French, it sounds like:
je veux le croissant.
tu aimes le poulet?
où est la bibliothèque?
I hear you. It was my case too when I arrived in Canada with my very basic 6 y.o English. Difficult!
Note: if your strategy is to wait until you get the appropriate level in French to start having conversations, you might want to reconsider: all you will end up doing is learning French as a dead language: good book knowledge, poor real-life skills. Book smart French.
French, as many things, is learnt by doing. You also need Street smart French.
What can you do then? Well, you can change paradigms in your head.
First: get some reinsurance!
You are afraid to look like an idiot because you talk like an idiot?
Well, no one who sees you for the first time immediately jumps into the conclusion that you're an idiot! There is no prejudice against you or your intellectual capacity just based on looking at you.
[If it is the case: good news! It's not an issue with your French!]
Then, you open your mouth...and here we are: because you talk dumb, you think you are perceived dumb. Wrong!
Believe me: no matter what your French level is, the persons you interact with can probably guess French is not your first language. Hence, they will assume that you're probably way smarter and funnier in your own language.
Even more: they will probably think you're pretty brave!
Reverse the roles: how do you consider immigrants who don't master English quite yet, or tourists? Do you assume they are super dumb because they talk dumb [I hope not], or do you assume they're probably not able to fully express themselves?
Do you think they are being brave for trying?
Do you think they are showing resilience, tenacity and determination?
Now apply this to your own self-estime.
Remember!
Mistakes are an integral part of any learning process. Learning French as an adult means that you need to allow yourself to make mistakes.
Feeling like a 6 y.o? Well, make mistakes like a 6 y.o!
No one is blaming you (just like you would not blame a 6y.o for making a mistake).
How else are you supposed to learn if you don't make mistakes... and learn from it?
When you hear yourself making a mistake: give yourself a big hug and keep going.
You can -but don't have to, correct yourself. Most likely, you have been understood.
Because people want to understand you, they will either fill in the blank, or ask for clarification.
Learn how to laugh about it
Language hiccups makes for excellent stories to tell friends at your next barbecue! The best small talk, really: embarrassing French stories!
Everyone has stories like yours, no exception. Share them to world!
One of mine, among many, is this time I took a cab for the first time in English.
I wanted to thank the driver so I said: "Thanks for ridding me!" with my best French accent and naive English confidence.
The driver looked at me. Stopped. And laughed so much while explaining why I couldn't say that.
Lesson learnt!
And now this is a funny story about being embarrassed for a quick 3 minutes back in 2013.
Nothing more.
Keep reading for practical tips!
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